Dear Anthropologie,

I would like to thank you for your recent September 2011 catalog. I absolutely LOVE getting the catalogs in the mail AND by email....and yes, I look at both and have the same love affair with each like it is the very first time. I am sure that you don't understand the relief that I feel knowing that you are 4 exits down on the tollway at North Park Mall. Knowing that you are there whenever I need you or just for a fling, helps me sleep better at night.

But there are 2 sides to every story.....for everything good, there is always something bad. Your catalog also brings me much pain. When I look at it and know that I cannot go purchase EVERYTHING in it plus some, gives me a headache. It makes me want to throw up and punch someone all at the same time. How is someone suppose to remain an honest individual when funds are always limited? I am addicted and need to know where to get my fix dadgumit! You build me up and then yank me right back down to reality when I see the price tags. No, I am not a millionaire right now. But when I am, just know that I am coming for you....

Let's take a close look at why I cannot sleep at night......

Yeah I am talking to you camel, orange, red, and black pancho with the pencil skirt, black tights, and red shoes. What exactly am I suppose to do with this information? How am I suppose to remain a responsible adult and pay bills when I see you and you are sitting there staring right back at me with longing in your eyes? I need all 4 pieces of you...yes all 4 that I mentioned...NO, it is a completed outfit....in the sight of GOD!


Ok, let's discuss you blue jacket, printed skirt, and hat to die for. You know my obsession with hats. Did you do this on purpose? Knowing that I was going to see you with her? Yes, I have you in burnt orange jacket, but come on....seeing you in blue only deepens my feelings and makes me know for sure that it is just fine to own you in 8 different colors as long as they are on different ends of the spectrum.


I don't even know WHERE to begin on this one. Everything about you screams my name. It's freaking ridiculous! I mean, come on SKIRT, you go with basically everything and every season! That is like a 4 for 1 special in my size, so technically you are only 1/4 of the price for each season. What a deal! Skirt....you have brightened my day....I am coming right over!


And last but not least, look at you furry vest. I need another furry vest. You are the furry vest that I need. Like right NOW. The rest I can do without...well....blouse, we will see when I get there if you are of a necessity in life....which I am SURE that you are....especially if you are Bayla Jane....cuz all Bayla Jane tops are of a necessity to me.....basically any flowy blouse is much needed in my life and closet. I mean come on vest....I can wear you with a long sleeve shirt, short sleeve shirt, tank top, tube top, dress, skirt, jeans, trousers, short.....that is a 10 for 1 special! You are even cheaper than the striped skirt that I need up top! YESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!