Tidbits from Grayce

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.

I took ten dollars out of my wallet and asked, 'If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?'

'No, I had to stop drinking years ago', the homeless woman told me.

'Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?' I asked.

'No, I don't waste time shopping,' the homeless woman said. 'I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.'

'Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?' I asked.

'Are you NUTS!' replied the homeless woman. I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!'

'Well, I said, 'I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight.'

The homeless Woman was shocked. 'Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.'

I said, 'That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine.'

It's a bird! It's a plane! It's a giant fly! It's Runny with a giant bra on his head!....wait a minute.......

I would like to share some photos of Runny when him was riddle!

Anyone know where Scoob is? I can't find him.....

I forgot to post this pic from back when we got all the snow and ice. Ronnie and I headed back to Dallas one day when the snow and ice were at it's worst....hey, shut your mouth! We have a 4x4 truck that handled it JUST FINE! Yes, I thought that it was dumb too....but there is no place like home!

SO ANYWAYS!....we took a chain with us to help pull people out if they were accessible and weren't going to put us in jeopardy in the process. We ended up pulling out 3 people, but had to pass up quite a bit more since they were waaaaaaaaay too far in the snow or ditch or whatever. But here is a pic of the first gentleman that we pulled out:Isn't that just the greatest view? Loved it....perhaps his stuck car is the least of his worries in life....I could be wrong.....

Oh woe is me.....I am in Longview.....and there is no pinkberry here.....what is one to do to make the time pass?.....
Dream pinkberry dreams....that's what!

I just want to share a photo that I took QUITE awhile ago on my laptop that makes me freaking laugh EVERYTIME that I see it.....quite possibly the UGLIEST photo ever.....
Now OBVIOUSLY there have been a few effects added to ENHANCE the loveliness of my face....but in all seriousness....did you pee your pants? Cuz I think that I sure did!

Before black shatter nail polish........
and after black shatter nail polish!
PREEETTTTTYYYYYY SPARKLE LIKE DIAMOND IN SKY!

Look! It's me! BAM!
Oh wait....wrong pic.....here I am ! ......not eating cake batter.....
baaaaaaahahahahahahahahhaahhaha!

Well, here I am....at my parents house.....in Longview.....all alone.....and my mom is at my house......in Dallas. Does this sound right to you? To me it TOTALLY does not. I was suppose to go back home Wednesday, but somehow it just hasn't happened. Ronnie is here working and he has been able to come back to my parents at night. So if I went home, I wouldn't get to see him and I would be all alone....sort of like I am now...hmmmm......now wait a minute.......

I went on a run with Ronnie today. I don't know what it is about his truck....but when I get in there and we get going....I get sooooo tired! I always fall asleep! I really think that it is the hum of the tires mixed with the fact that I never go to sleep at a good hour because I always want to stay up and read! Speaking of....I am reading this book now:
It is about this dog, as you can see, that is disfigured a little. He was a found when he was a few months old, and apparently he was a bait puppy. Somehow he didn't die when he was attacked and he somehow made it to the emergency vet clinic. I only read the first 2 chapters....but they vividly tell of his injuries and how this whole dog fighting thing happens. So needless to say, I did a lot of ridiculous crying and had many nightmares about my dogs getting in fights and getting hurt. AND I ONLY READ 2 CHAPTERS.....I don't know if I should even continue with the rest of it.....well of COURSE I am gonna HAVE to finish it! I GOTTA KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WITH OOGY! hahaha...what a funny name! Wonder if it had anything to do with when his face was healing.....ew....nevermind....I just got a mental picture of Zoey when her head was healing. Gross.....Ok, so for all those randoms that may read my blog, I DO NOT FIGHT MY DOGS...Zoey and Nilla got in a fight in the kitchen when I went to pick up Ronnie one night and needless to say, Nilla won. Couple thousand dollars later and a night at the emergency vet....Zoey is unrecognizable and Nilla is still Nilla...with just a few stitches.

Ok on to lighter subjects that are more enjoyable.....ok so I am baking cinnamon crumb cake waiting for Ronnie to get back.
YUM! It just came out of the oven....cooling....calling my name...screaming my name.....with a glass of milk......and then I think of my thighs rubbing together as I walk to get a fork and knife....and then suddenly it just doesn't seem that appealing....I have been eating good lately and doing my stupid lunges and stupid ab leg lift thingys religiously every night....I am GOING to lose weight and feel better about myself if I have to starve myself and go on Intervention....jk lol.


Ok........now it is question and answer time!!!! WHOOOOO HOOOOOOO! Ok, this is a serious question....life altering if I go either way. So I absolutely CANNOT make the wrong decision. This is so important. It is a choice that will affect me everyday....every night...every second forever....
Ok ready?

Bangs like these or no bangs?
See? This is serious people! Totally serious! I am in the process of growing out my bangs now. I am at that weird mullet looking stage....I fit RIGHT in here in east Texas....hahhahaha! ANYWAYS, I really liked my bangs when I had them like this but not as thick...I like the vintage retro hippy chic look....BUT that means that I have to blow dry and flat iron them EVERYDAY....which is a pain in the arse.....but....beauty is pain...but I am just so indecisive right now! I am never like this....hesitating on decisions like these...I always just go for it and think about it later....when it is too late. Hmmmmm..maybe I should just get some cake, watch the Amanda Knox movie to see what all the hubbub is about, and shut the flagnog up....DONE DEAL!

Ok, so I am going to give some points back to Ashley Greene.....She started out at ZERO.....then she knows "Edward"....so then she went up to +3,000.....then she grew her hair out.....and she went to +3,150......then she started dating a JONAS brother and she took a nose dive down to -5,478....but I just saw this cute little ensemble and she is now at +1,522....this little denim business gave the girl 7,000 points! Go Ashley...go now and mail me your boots....do not pass go, do not collect $200....go directly to Fedex.

Jacob, Scooby, and Tempy

It says "Redneck Woman" just in case you can't tell.....lovely....that was my view home yesterday from work.....only in East Texas....and maybe southern Louisiana.....

These boots are made for walkin.....
and that's just what they'll do......
and one of these days these boots are gonna
walk all over YOU!

RAAAR!

I just found out that my friend Sarah Hughes, aka "Huggies", is having a baby later this year! And my friend Kara Sartin just had her baby, Kaison Bennett, this morning in Tyler.....congrats to all the babies, baby mamas, and baby daddies! :)

Here are a couple cute pics from an animal email that I got from my mama I think.....they made me go "awwwwwwwww" so I had to post them! Enjoy!

I haven't read a book in over a week! What is my problem! I should have already finished at least 2 books by now! UGH! Such a slacker!

I stopped by the Chevrolet Dealership yesterday, for a look at the new Silverado 1500 pickup. Just for fun, I took it out for a test drive. The salesman (a black man wearing an Obama "change" lapel pin) sat in the passenger seat describing the truck and all its "wonderful" options. The seats were of particular interest. He explained that the seats directed warm air to your butt in the winter and directed cool air to your butt in the summer heat. Feeling like messing with him, I mentioned that this must be a Republican truck...........Looking a bit angry, he asked why I thought it was a Republican truck. I explained that if it were a Democrat truck, the seats would blow smoke up your butt year- round.

'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked..
'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'

A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day....30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and said, 'What?'

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,
Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,
'It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes.'
He addressed the man, 'Can you name your wife's favorite flower?'
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, 'It's Pillsbury, isn't it?

So we are walking down the street to go to this place called The Soda Gallery that Baylee wanted to go to, and as I look up towards heaven, I see a sign from GOD! I look away quickly as if I have just witnessed something secretive and didn't want anyone to know that I was watching.....I slowwwwwwwwwwly glance up again, JUST to make sure that I wasn't envisioning things....and sure enough....there it was......
Yep, it's real. That is a sign. To an establishment. That you can walk in. And buy things. And no one wonders why you are buying so many chocolate items. No judgement or condemnation. Just pure Dude Sweet Chocolate. So what did I do you ask? Well! I did what any good citizen that is trying to promote the survival of a small community store.....I ran across the street screaming and waving my arms above my head, hurdling over mounds of snow and ice to reach my goal, only throwing 2 children and one granny out of the way in the process. I reached the door, opened it, walked inside like I owned the joint.....I was finally home. It smelled like Dude, Sweet Chocolate....totally. Everything that they sell is dark chocolate based. And everything was unique! The chocolate was art! Look at their squares of chocolate for sale!
So I bought toffee made with Maple Apple butter....and yes it is already gone! Who do you think that I am! Don't judge me! You would have done the EXACT same thing....and probably purchased more! :) And I got these:I had self control with these....I saved some to bring back to my parents so they could try some. There was nothing that I could do about the toffee situation.....there was no saving any of that! BTW- kudos to myself for that rockin blue nail polish that is off the heezy fo sheezy!

After I was dragged out kicking and screaming from Dude Sweet Chocolate, we headed on to The Soda Gallery. They had all bottled carbonated drinks....anything that you could think of, old stuff that I have never heard of, and new stuff that I didn't want to ever try. You got to mix and match a six pack for purchase! You would have thought that Baylee was picking out which finger that she would like to cut off with as long as it took her to eliminate them all down to only 6 choices! HA! And with as much as that six pack was....she better have picked life long companionship with them! HAHA! It was a pretty cool little store. Here is a pic of one of the walls!

Ok, Ronaldo and I picked up Baylee Saturday afternoon for a bit. She picked to eat at Ci Ci's. Ronnie doesn't like that place at ALL. I mean, any self respecting adult that has self control and delights in the finer foods would NOT want to go there! So of course I had to ACT like I wasn't thrilled that we were going to the place that has dessert pizza and you can have as much as you want until your pants bust open and you puke all over the place and people are staring at you and you just look at them like "what it your problem....have you never seen a lady eat before?", and then you ask if they would like to take it outside and then yall yell "yo mama" put downs back and forth until the cops are called and then you are banned from that particular Ci Ci's Pizza.......GUUUUULLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPP (giant inhale of air).....I mean, not that any of that has ever happened before or anything. BUT anyways....we went to Ci Ci's. I do NOT know what kind of dessert pizza this was, but I am now going to refer to it as Heaven In A Slice, or Cake Batter Pizza, or Pudding Pizza, or THE GREATEST PIZZA IDEA EVER EVER EVERRRRRRRRRR! I wanted to take the whole pizza and RUN! But I had self control....for fear of the senario above being played out agai-....I mean, before the senario above was played out. I only got 3 slices...and only ate 2 of them.....then sat there staring at them longingly and apologetic, like I have let myself down in a way, wasting manna from heaven like that! I mean, just LOOK at that goodness....and it's all MINE! So once I put down the manna from heaven, totally thankful that I have stretchy pants on, Ronnie gave Baylee a $1.....oh what fun a $1 will bring.......

I am rockin the big Texas hair today!....even though I am sick as a dog!

Ok, so I am stranded in Longview. Dallas roads are soooooo bad right now with ice and crap, that I probably couldn't make it home. I mean really?....couldn't I have been stranded at my own HOME in DALLAS?!?!?!?! It is freezing weather and I am NOT prepared....I do NOT have a warm coat here....I am literally using one of Jeffrey's old coats that I found in his closet.....but by golly it is warm! I have a light weight leather coat....and that is it! Thank goodness for Jeff's warm coat today! It is so flattering too!

Please sing the following aloud to the tune of "Oh Christmas Tree"....thank you

Oh diet pill

oh diet piiiiiill

You are so small yet mighty.

Oh diet pill

oh diet piiiiiill

You make me sweat all nighty.

Your yellow sheeeeell, it no tastes good

although you maaaaaaake me want no food.

oh diet pill

oh diet piiiiiill

You are so small yet mightyyyyyyyy.

Thank y0u.

Ok, so my bestie Jamie has shared with me a website that she thinks is funny. NOT ONLY is this website now all I think about....I literally can't stop laughing when I get on and read the posts! It is the first thing that I look at when I wake up in the morning and it is the last thing that I look at before I go to bed....and I REFUSE to tell you how many times during the day that I look to see if they have posted anything new. WARNING....not for the MORALLY STRONG peeps....not that I am not morally strong....ok just forget that I said that. There is some inappropriate things on it....but I do NOT care.....make me LOL ALLLLLLLLL DAAAAAAAAAAY LOOOOOONG!
Drum roll please......... www.damnyouautocorrect.com

Did someone fall asleep at the control tower? It was 75 degrees this weekend and I was wearing a tank top for crying out loud! The sun was shining and all was well in Weatherdise.....and then......I wake up this morning....and it is SNOWING and 21 degrees outside. WHAT THE FLAGNOG! I am not prepared for this in the least bit. My body was gearing up for Spring. I have purchased the Fake Bake tanning lotion and the Brazilian Butt Lift DVD's.....not ear muffs and hot chocolate! GOOD GRIEF! Wake up command control!!!!! Someone is laying on the gear shift and it is blowing snow out the wazoo!